I was travelling from Premier to Kericho town on one gloomy day in January. For such short journeys along the Kericho-Bomet highway, I prefer matatus from Kisii to those from Bomet. With Kisii's, two things will happen; either my temper will get tested or my short journey will be quiet. It is mostly the latter than the former but I'd rather have that than boarding a car from Bomet where a passenger wants to make small talk about clans. The touts also like 'selling people' and charging extra. I like it when my journeys are quiet. Just me overlooking the lush tea plantations.
Anyway, I was in this Kisii matatu and usually in Kisii matatus the driver and the conductor are always chatting. This time however, the conductor was quiet and he kept on counting the cash while he was talking with a lady seated behind the driver. This lady had a really cute child with big eyes. They were talking in Kisii of course so I didn't understand what they were talking about.
We then stopped at Kisumu Road where he helped the lady with the child board another matatu going to Nakuru. It took a while because the lady had quite the amount of luggage. After that he came back to the matatu and apologized to everyone for the delay (Hardly do Kenyan conductors apologize). I was seated next to the conductor and that is when he decided to chat with me.
While I don't engage in random conversations with random people, I decided to do otherwise. He told me that was his wife who was travelling to Nakuru for her studies and that it was cheaper for them to travel in his matatu than boarding a matatu going direct to Nakuru from Kisii. Then he laughed worringly and said, "Namsomesha halafu ataniacha tu. Hivyo ndio inakuanga siku hizi."( I will pay for her education but then she will leave me. That is how it is nowadays). I told him," Itategema vile mnaheshimiana."(It will depend on how you respect each other). I don't think he expected my answer because he got quiet again. This guy was really on edge. When I alighted he said thank you. I said welcome and went on my way.
I am not quite sure what the 'thank you' was for or why he gave me a snipet of his story but one thing I know for sure is that sometimes people need someone or anyone who can listen to them. They don't necessarily need advice from you. They just want a listening ear. I bet he knew chances of him seeing me again were zero to nil so he was not afraid of judgement. I bet he felt that he had unloaded some weight off his shoulder.
People carry a lot with them and it wears them down. I believe we are meant cross paths with such people at some point in our lives. Sometimes it never matters if you know someone. Sometimes we just need to be channels through which other people's burden are lifted. Who knows? You just might make someone's day.
We need more people who can listen and not judge. This was profound
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
DeleteMy Uncle took this lady back to college in the late 90s and early 2000s to study nursing. Rewind.. my uncle finished his studies in f4, never went to college but was successful in businesses. The lady was his wife whom everybody in the village loved. On the day of graduation as you know kenyan graduations all the village members come, my uncle went with everyone only to be shocked when the lady moved with a nother guy, a doctor. He public denied that he doesn't know my uncle and has never met any of the village members. You can imagine the embarrassment. So hata mheshimiane aje, even if you treat her as a queen. When they decide to turn to snakes they'll bite and slither away. RIP uncle.
ReplyDeleteHey. Let me start by praying that your uncles soul may continue to rest in peace.
DeleteNow about your uncles situation. I'm sorry that he went through that with that lady. What I can say about that scenario and the many similar scenarios is that there are some women who totally don't appreciate what others have done to them. There are just people who are in it to use others and they will pretend to be close to you just to get what they want then leave you. I hope you learnt something from your uncles experience. I will write something about this someday. I however hope you learnt not to give too much only to be stabbed in the back. I hope your eyes are wide open and you can see people for who they are, character-wise and all.
This article was just about us not being quick to judge people because there is sometimes much going on in their lives that we don't know about. It is never in our place to judge.
Yes I learnt, but my cousin, the son to my late Uncle never learnt a thing he fell to the same trap. Now is crying the tears of I wish I knew
DeleteI hope it doesn't happen again
DeleteWhy do men always think when they educate women they leave them? Men always leave women and women don't complain. When a man is divorced ...the women is the problem,, when a husband dies and the woman remarries ,its too fast,when a man leaves after birthbecause the woman's body is blamed, when a woman grows thin or fat its always the woman to be blamed....who will be there for these women who have educated their men and in the end the man abandons her with the kids?
ReplyDeleteWomen never leave.... Men leaves each time. Back to you on studio Ivy.
Hey.
DeleteFirst off, it is sad that we still live in a patriarchal society where women are blamed for so much. In a world where women are supposed to live up to men's expectations some of which are nonsensical so to speak. I pray for these women and I pray they know their worth . I hope these women know they are strong enough and they can leave such men because their lives mean so much more than having to tolerate men who do not appreciate them. I also hope they don't have to deal with such men who expect some impractical perfections from them.
Let us however not generalize by saying ALL men leave all the time. It is not all but some of them. Women also leave(not all of them too). Not all men are dogs and not all men leave. There are good men out there who will move through hills and valleys with you and I hope you get to experience them.
awesome piece 🔥
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
DeleteWoow, it doesn't cost much to be kind enough listen to a stranger open up and be non-judgemental about it. We're all humans and vulnerable to all kinds of atrocities
ReplyDeleteYes it doesn't. We are only human.
Delete