Personality Blind Spots

I was talking to my friend earlier this year about an experience I went through about 2 years ago. It was a hellish one and this friend had noticed something was up then but I never said a thing even after this friend asked me all sorts of What- is -up- questions. So after I finally spoke of it 2 years later this friend of mine straight out said, " You know that is the problem with you. You do not talk about stuff and just look at how it ate you up. You lost some goddamn weight!!!" It was really blunt. A 100 proof no chaser, that is how this particular friend is. 

I laughed it off but it was the truth. As much there are some chapters in our lives that we do not dare talk about, I do that for most of my chapters. I keep things. I check out and I go through all of it alone. By the time I speak of whatever it was that happened, I have already dealt with the issue and it just comes out like a story once upon a time. Talk about the perks of introvertedness. 

It is not that I am depressed or anything. And no, I am not passive aggressive.My over-intuitive nature makes it hard for me to talk about some things. It is always a constant battle of weighing who I can trust and it is not easy. I unconsciously sink to the safety net of my mind. It is sort of a knee-jerk reaction. I cannot really help it sometimes. It is the way I deal with some issues and for me it works most of the times.

I know someone here is thinking that, "Ain't that a dangerous way of dealing with issues." Well, sometimes it is because people like me can sink in too deep into our thoughts without realising it and get lost. Dangerous because we sometimes can't seem zap ourselves out of that state. For my issue two years ago it took another incident for me to wake up and snap out of it and by that time I had lost a few good friends. And therein lies our biggest flaw to people like me.

Sometimes we think we can ace things alone. Deal with things alone. We know we have to talk to someone but the anxiety it brings makes us paralyzed and we choose not to talk. The end result as my friend put it is," we get eaten up."

Case in point, we all have those ugly parts of us that we choose to ignore or overlook solely because we think it is the way we are and we can't do anything about it. You may be who you are but may be you're missing out on some experiences in life because you choose to accept that as you are, people will never get you because they are not in your shoes. I am here to tell you that is not the case.

For me it is wasn't until I understood myself that I was able to work around this flaw and build better relationships. It took a lot of indepth analysis and intentionality. Now that I am aware of myself, I can bridge the gap between healthy and unhealthy when it comes to dealing with issues. It is still a learning progress nonetheless. And get this, I found people who totally understand me!!.

To you who is reading this and is feeling like you are probably crazy or misunderstood, I suggest you be your own shrink and find out why you do things the way you do and why you react to situations the way you do. It is imperative that you figure yourself out. You have to acknowledge you have those blind spots in your personality. You have to learn to work around those flaws in a healthy way because really, how can you complain about being misunderstood yet you do not understand yourself?