I am tired. We are Tired!!!

 

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Rest in peace Velvine Kinyanjui

#justiceforvesh

Everyday unfortunate events happen which shake us to the core and hers was one of many. I am heartbroken. I am angry. I am worried and it is worrying. What happened to her has compounded my fear and the realization that as a woman I am forced to live in the same space as wolves. I am scared for myself. I am scared for my sister. I am scared for my mother. I am scared for the daughters I am going to have if grace comes my way. We surely live in a rotten world.

I swear to you there is no single woman who has never thought of the possibility of getting raped. We are always wracking our mind on how to be safe. In a perfect world, no single human should ever have to worry about matters safety. That is however not the world we live in. For so long, society has not been humane to women. For every single turn we take, the society blames us women for our misfortunes while it favours the men.

As women, we live in a constant state of anxiety. Do you know what happens whenever we meet or pass by a group of men? Safe is not it because chances are all of them or one of those men will make a point of sexually harassing us. It will be the catcalls, the hurling of insults if we don’t respond to their lewd comments and more often than not they will try to touch us. See it is not a safe world for us. I am not a doctor but I don’t think it is healthy for the brain to constantly respond to flight or fight but that is sadly how it is. Fear has been conditioned in us women.

You know what is the worst thing about all this? It is men and rape apologists telling us how to be safe. It is them telling us how to be careful. It is them saying that victims deserved it. It is them rationalizing rape by telling us not to wear skimpy clothes because it tempts men. It is them telling us that skimpy clothes equals asking for it. 

These men and rape apologists are telling us not to accept free stuff and to stop being cheap. They are telling us not to recklessly drink around men or strangers. It is them telling us that we love money and therefore we are being taught a lesson. It is them telling us to avoid taking certain paths. It is them who tell us the ‘hows’ of not getting raped. URGHH!!!!

So tell me Oh you men and rape apologists! How do you justify men raping 90 year old grandmothers? How do you justify men raping week old babies? How do you justify the rape of children? How do you justify a father raping his own daughter? A man who should protect his daughter? How in the world do you justify that? How long is it going to take for you to understand that the cause of rape is not what we wear, where we walk and when we walk? THERE IS NOTHING WHICH JUSTIFYS RAPE BECAUSE THE CAUSES OF RAPE ARE RAPISTS!!!!!

I am tired. I am tired of the entire victim blaming. I am tired of the ‘how not to be raped’ rules. I am tired that men continue to feel entitled to women’s bodies. I am tired that men continue to refuse the concept of consent. I am tired that men continue to violate our boundaries. I am tired that men are not having these conversations with fellow men. I am tired that they are not making a point of making a safe environment for women. 

I am tired that men are not calling out these predators yet they know them. Instead they choose to talk and laugh about how they like making women uncomfortable. Take for example how they like the feeling of knowing women are scared when they walk behind them. They like the feeling of seeing women quicken their pace. URGHH!!! I am just tired. 

Women we are not loved.

We have been dehumanized.

We are not safe. 

We are all alone in this fight. It is a fight which continues to shatter our hearts.

I have no more words.

I am sad.

I am angry.

I am annoyed. 

I am tired.