When It's Time

There is one thing I've never asked nor ever been asked. And that is giving people advice about relationships when asked or asking people about what I should do when there are issues in my relationship.

I think people always think twice before asking me because the most I can say is do what you want and probably add a laugh. You give someone some advice that they should walk away from their partner and Lo and Behold the next thing you hear is that they got back together. They would probably be laughing their asses off about you and your 'stupid' advice. So yeah, I don't have the energy to waste words.

Looking back at my relationships, the one thing I can say I enjoyed was that kind of privacy. There were times when I was pissed, mad and shaking with fury at my partner but I never at one point reached out to anyone and neither did my significant other to ask for the way forward. The moment you involve other people in your relationship squabbles and decisions that is when everything gets ruined I swear. It's a pet peeve and a deal breaker for me.

Since I'm not the kind to have shouting matches and exchange words, I'd outrightly tell my partner that I was very pissed and needed the space to think not talk. I'd rather say that because I'm very anti-ghosting when it comes to relationships. I'd then brood over the situation for a while and actually note down all the necessary points . When I felt I was calm enough to talk civilly, I'd sit down with my partner and talk it out. If it was something we could work on, fine. If it wasn't, it was Boy-Bye and the close of that chapter.

I think it's human nature to know when it's time to let go. It is always at the back of our minds. You always know if that guy you met is good or has so many red flags. You know if that girl is awesome and good for you or if she is carrying a lot of baggage that you can't handle. You know if you are ready to love again or not.

You know when its time to let go of friends and have others. You know when its time to change careers. You know when you are ready for marriage. You know when you want to have kids. You just know when it's right to do whatever you want because that knowing always comes with a feeling of calmness and peace.

The reason we falter is that we have a lot of doubt, worry, fear and pressure from the world. In relationships for example, we want to give our partners the benefit of a doubt that they won't cause us any pain. When they do, we know it's not fair but we fear we'll be lonely and alone. We can't seem to get around the thought of not being with that person. That is why we dilly-dally when it comes to making a choice for the sake of our own peace.

The thing about giving people advice is that in some cases it will work and sometimes it will be a total waste. At times you will be heard and at times you will just be made a total clown. You got to know that people are always gonna do what they are gonna do.

I don't allow myself to come between two people. I always say people will leave when and if they get tired. No amount of well meaning advice is going to do anything if they are not tired. You can't make decisions for other people because people are the owners of their choices.

So until someone gets tired of the constant cheating, until someone is tired of visiting hospitals with STI's, until someone is tired of the poor communication, until someone is tired of the violence, until someone is tired of the disrespect and being treated like the bottom of the barrel scum, until someone is tired of whatever, let them be because there's only much you can do sometimes.

But trust me, when they DO get tired, they'll do as Taylor Swift says in her song "It's Time to Go". They'll give up, they'll walk away, they'll run and for the love of their god, they will go and just go and never look back.