These past days my writing mojo has been off. Coming up with something to write every other week is really not easy. I respect authors or novelists who sit and write paragraphs and paragraphs every day. Like how do stories flow and how don't they use up all their ideas? My brain locks at around 10 paragraphs. Even those are quite a lot.
Anyway, it wasn't a matter of not having content. I really did not have the energy to type words. I've been opening up a new blog post page and thinking otherwise. Therapeautic as writing is, I just felt so heavy to type anything. But like relationships, I have learnt not to force writing. If I am in no mood, I am in no mood. But ooh well, these are part of life motions( I should probably stop explaining myself everytime this happens...He...he).
I came across this ironic post about the twenties. It being a whole decade of being in our physical prime and mental rock bottom. I truly agree especially as I edge toward the late twenties. I find I am constantly tired about dealing with a lot. You might tell me two plus two is 22 and I won't argue. My energy nowadays is just on the low. I cancel a lot of stuff. No I don't want to go out. No I'm not going to reply to that text. No I'm not going to pick that call. Mentally there is a lot going on because I'm almost always worried. I mean my life is not where I wanted it to be. Accepting that is a constant battle which gets overwhelming.
But there is this other side I have come to love even in this madness. It is this side of unapologetic realness that comes with growing older. It feels awesome. I'm more aware of my feelings whether negative and positive. A while back I was mostly confused about the nature of my feelings. Now I can tell my feelings apart. I can read and listen to my body. I can tell when I feel off and know how to go about it. I welcome good feelings without much question because feeling good is becoming a rarity these days.
I appreciate that tiredness in a way because I have learnt to pick my battles. It is such a relief. I've been more accepting of who people are, there actions, there words and I place them in the appropriate position in my life or out of it. I remember in my early 20's I was more reactive than reasonable. Nowadays I am definately more reasonable. I have come to understand it's not always about me. I've been more willing to understand where people come from and it is wonderful being that insightful.
The highlight of these past weeks was a lesson on honesty. It was more of a realization than a lesson I think which I'm sure I wouldn't have had if honesty wasn't part of it. The realization being that two or more truths can exist at once, but they don't have to play out at that same time. And its totally fine.
Oh my God honesty is so beautiful. I have always appreciated honesty but then never really got to get the true gist of it. I mean, being able to communicate about what you feel with someone and come to an understanding because the truth has been said is something else.
Honesty for one is not easy. It is not always fun. Most of the times you'll hear what you don't want to hear but it is freeing. You free yourself and you free the other person. You feel lighter. You feel there is so much about you than basking in the comfort of lies. You remain cordial with the other person. Most of all there is respect between the two of you. There is nothing more important than that.
Honesty saves a lot of time and pain. What you hear might be painful yes but it never lasts. With saving time you'll know soon enough whether that ship has sailed or not. Or whether that train is coming or not. What I mean is that you'll have a sort of compass to help you know what direction to take and that is the freedom I was talking about.
Enlightment, other perspectives and lessons never end. May the universe send me more of this light because well, it is good.
Anyway, it wasn't a matter of not having content. I really did not have the energy to type words. I've been opening up a new blog post page and thinking otherwise. Therapeautic as writing is, I just felt so heavy to type anything. But like relationships, I have learnt not to force writing. If I am in no mood, I am in no mood. But ooh well, these are part of life motions( I should probably stop explaining myself everytime this happens...He...he).
I came across this ironic post about the twenties. It being a whole decade of being in our physical prime and mental rock bottom. I truly agree especially as I edge toward the late twenties. I find I am constantly tired about dealing with a lot. You might tell me two plus two is 22 and I won't argue. My energy nowadays is just on the low. I cancel a lot of stuff. No I don't want to go out. No I'm not going to reply to that text. No I'm not going to pick that call. Mentally there is a lot going on because I'm almost always worried. I mean my life is not where I wanted it to be. Accepting that is a constant battle which gets overwhelming.
But there is this other side I have come to love even in this madness. It is this side of unapologetic realness that comes with growing older. It feels awesome. I'm more aware of my feelings whether negative and positive. A while back I was mostly confused about the nature of my feelings. Now I can tell my feelings apart. I can read and listen to my body. I can tell when I feel off and know how to go about it. I welcome good feelings without much question because feeling good is becoming a rarity these days.
I appreciate that tiredness in a way because I have learnt to pick my battles. It is such a relief. I've been more accepting of who people are, there actions, there words and I place them in the appropriate position in my life or out of it. I remember in my early 20's I was more reactive than reasonable. Nowadays I am definately more reasonable. I have come to understand it's not always about me. I've been more willing to understand where people come from and it is wonderful being that insightful.
The highlight of these past weeks was a lesson on honesty. It was more of a realization than a lesson I think which I'm sure I wouldn't have had if honesty wasn't part of it. The realization being that two or more truths can exist at once, but they don't have to play out at that same time. And its totally fine.
Oh my God honesty is so beautiful. I have always appreciated honesty but then never really got to get the true gist of it. I mean, being able to communicate about what you feel with someone and come to an understanding because the truth has been said is something else.
Honesty for one is not easy. It is not always fun. Most of the times you'll hear what you don't want to hear but it is freeing. You free yourself and you free the other person. You feel lighter. You feel there is so much about you than basking in the comfort of lies. You remain cordial with the other person. Most of all there is respect between the two of you. There is nothing more important than that.
Honesty saves a lot of time and pain. What you hear might be painful yes but it never lasts. With saving time you'll know soon enough whether that ship has sailed or not. Or whether that train is coming or not. What I mean is that you'll have a sort of compass to help you know what direction to take and that is the freedom I was talking about.
Enlightment, other perspectives and lessons never end. May the universe send me more of this light because well, it is good.
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