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Letter to my teen self


Dear teen self, 

There is so much I want to tell you but first things first I want you to know that you are beautiful. I know you believed you were not. I know you wanted to be like so and so and it pained you every time you looked in the mirror and saw the ugly parts of you. I know you looked at your face and saw how your skin and nose looked like and you hated it. I know you were scared that is what you would feel all the way through your life and it sucked the joy out of you.

I want to tell you that feeling won’t last because you grew up. You searched deep into your soul. You recognized yourself and saw beauty. You stopped hiding in the shadows. You touched your skin and you were okay with its imperfections. You looked in the mirror and liked the girl looking back at you. You now love your nose. You might not be confident yet about what life has in store for you but you are confident in your beauty for sure.

There are many things I wish you did. So many things but the thing about wishing is that it only brings untold suffering. So no, I am not going to add on to your suffering by telling you these things because I know how scared and unsure you felt. So how could you be sure about that friend you could have kept close? How could you explain how you were unattached to people? How could you find the confidence to say it was because you knew you probably won’t see them ever again? How could you be sure that it wouldn’t add on to your pain?

I am not going to let you beat yourself about it because that is teen life. I am not going to disturb that teen spirit of yours. I am not going to make you cry and make you regret. I hope you understand what I am trying to say. I am telling you it is okay you felt like that. It is okay you didn’t understand the dynamics of many life scenarios because hell you were still a child.

Let off the pressure little one. Relax your thoughts. Relax being into those damned books. Relax the idea of what you think your adult life will be and just live your teen life. It is okay to be crazy about boys. It is okay to act out to some degree. It is okay to be wild. It is okay to not hold back. I know you’re probably not going to listen to me and shout that I am not serious. Well yeah, I am telling you that life ain’t that serious and the road is not straight. It has never been. You never have a clear view to what you want to reach. We are always heading into a sharp corner. The most you can do while you head to that corner is enjoy and handle every challenge as it arises. So let go of that anxiety to be perfect and just do the best you can.

As of now I am okay dear one. I know you were worried but hey, I am okay. I have learnt a lot over the years. I have met wonderful people. I have good friends. I have been in awesome relationships. I have also been in a Romeo and Juliet relationship. Shocking I know. And yes, very tragic it was but I laugh about it. Don’t fret about it...ha-ha. I have been the estranged friend. I have especially learnt how to handle disappointment. It is a very crazy world on this side but I am okay.

I know you might not believe this but I thank you dear teen. I thank you for you with your imperfections. I thank you for the person you were. I now remember you with fondness rather than anger and frustration. I remember you with kindness. I know I never say this enough but I love you dear teen. I love you for you and for what you will become.

Yours with love,
The now-self
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