Skip to main content

Madly


I am madly in love with you. I love you madly. It is insane how much I love you.  

Why do people put insane or mad with love together? It has never sat well with me. Not when I had no idea of what feelings were and definitely not now that I know how what  feelings are and how confusing they can be.

I see how people melt at those words. I see how their eyes glow. I see how they are at loss for words. How speechless they get. How they soon forget their world and choose to revolve their lives around the sayer of those words. I see  them forget themselves. It is seems to me they are enchanted. Smiling but for fading roses. Eating but never  getting full. They dance to the music of dark knights and angels with many faces.  

No. I don’t like it when madly and in love are together. It feels sinister. My heart will beat fast I don’t deny. But not because I feel my insides melting, releasing butterflies in my stomach. Not because it will cause words to get stuck in my throat. It will beat fast because of the icy chill I will feel down my spine. It will beat fast because of fear. The fear of how you will be fixated on me. How you will be all over my space.  

No. I don’t like it one bit. Here is why. When it comes to it, you will sharpen your words and slice my spirit with them. When it comes to it, you will hold my neck against the wall. When it comes to it, my thoughts and words to you will be like sand, never holding water. When it comes to it, you will hand me dead flowers and laugh while at it. When it comes to it, you will stab me with that serrated dagger. When it comes to it, you will twist me with your twisted idea of madly in love.

Yes. I don’t want madly in love. I want softly in love. I want calmly in love. The kind which gives that same feeling I have when I am eating Nuvita Crunchy Lemon biscuits or Manji Digestive biscuits. I want healthy in love. I want peacefully in love. I want love as is and love for the good it carries. 

Labels:

Comments

  1. Hadibfo. M14 November 2021 at 12:23

    Mmh there's something about Manji biscuits😋😋
    An amazing point of view.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God is As Simple

I was born and raised Catholic and I love being Catholic but through the years I have come to learn that the whole idea of religion is overrated and that churches limit us. I think to understand the Creator, people sat down and developed ideas to try to explain who God is and how to worship him. Don't get me wrong, I respect people and their way of worship. I just don't like it when some of these people criticize others or think they have a one way ticket to heaven because their way of worshipping God is superior to others.  Some might label me a bad Catholic christian but in all honesty, I don't think understanding the whole complex doctrine and knowing the number of garments a priest dons for mass matters. Then why do I still go for mass you might ask or why have I not changed churches? I go because there is where I find peace. There is something ethereal and majestic about cathedrals especially when I find myself alone on some random day. As crazy as it may soun
22 comments
Read more

21st Century Twenties

The freaking hellish twenties of century 21. Pheewwh!! I know I'm not the only one feeling this especially about the mid 20's. It is such a mental time. It is a time when you have to remind yourself each day that everything will be okay because the world is not what you thought. It is a time when you learn that peace of mind is actually something people struggle to find. It is a time when you cannot seem to understand life or God. When you will roll through all emotions at once. You will be sad then happy, high then low. It is a time when you learn that "I- don't -know- what -I- feel" is also an emotion by itself. When relationships will end without drama but you still hurt as hell, probably even more than if it had ended with drama.  It is a time when you will unlearn the things you learnt. When people will move to upper niches in their lives and you will feel left behind. People will be getting married and having children and you will feel lik
22 comments
Read more

Phoenix

I turned a year older just the other day and truth be told this season has had so many lows and highs. For me especially, there were too many letdowns. Hopes held on high just to crush me. Times where I gave those I'm-doing-great -I-can't- complain kind of replies but in truth I wanted  scream my head out because nothing was going right. Smiling and making jokes about how everything seems contorted but deep inside I was mad and confused about what a mess everything felt like. These years are totally unnerving.  Be that as it may, I just decided to sit back,  look at how life is and I realized God is in total control you know.The director behind the scenes. Even though I got mad at him so many times, I somehow knew that it was pointless because that's just it. Pointless.  He has a reason for everything. He always has.  With all the disappointments there have been real truths revealed though:Those spectacular academic degrees do not mean  the work you do will be fulfilling
22 comments
Read more